... You've been drinking.

Our studies show that, contrary to popular belief, drinking alcoholic beverages is a negative calorie exercise. Because of this, on a night when you have had 4 or more drinks, it is not only fine to eat whatever you want, but actually it is necessary. Otherwise you will find yourself in a calorie deficit, and you could starve. The healthiest foods in these situations are:

1) Pancakes

2) Cupcakes

3) Anything with cake in the name

4) Nachos

5) Anything from a drive thru

6) Leftovers of any kind

In addition, drinking provides a healthy source of exercise. Please see this video as a reference: http://www.theonion.com/video/study-americans-get-majority-of-exercise-while-dru,18198/

Tip: If you eat with your fingers, you can eat even more! (see earlier rule)