...It's Christmas!

Merry Christmas (or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or Festivus, or whatever you're celebrating), everyone!

The calorie scientists have taken breaks from playing with their new iphones, napping in their holiday snuggies, and gorging on Christmas ham to remind you all that calories don't count on the merriest of all holidays- Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you are celebrating this year)! The reasons are simple- you're using so many calories this holiday that it is literally impossible for you to consume enough food to replace what you're busy burning off. Think about all the things you have to do today! Whether you're:

- Unwrapping presents at warp speed and greedily hoarding all of your loot
- Smiling politely while planning the quickest route to the mall to return your grandma's latest "stylish" sweater gift
- Cleaning the house because your mom wants to your house guests to think that you live in a model home
- Squeezing into your holiday outfit, which barely fit BEFORE you ate everything in sight at last night's Christmas Eve gathering.
- Worrying over the present you picked out for your boyfriend's mom
- Stressing over your bursting credit card bill, or
- Obsessing over which gift card you'll use first

...you're a busy little elf today! So when you do finally sit down to a special breakfast, don't fret about having a third helping of Christmas bacon and Christmas pancakes. You'll need it to get through your action packed holiday. And when you grab lunch while making the rounds at the homes of your family and friends, make sure your meal is large and filling so that you can stay merry while answering thousands of questions about why you don't have a real job yet. By Christmas dinner, you'll still be nearing a dangerously low calorie level. This is quite possibly the most important meal you'll eat all year, so make sure it's a good one!  Don't worry, you'll still fit into all your new clothes in the new year.
 
Plus, and perhaps more importantly, Christmas calories contain a special type of caloric acid that has very specific properties. These "holiday calories" contain only enough substance to ensure that you don't pass out from lack of calorie intake. However, they mysteriously (and gloriously) lack the ability to add to your waistline/butt/thighs. Supposedly invented many years ago by Mrs. Claus, holiday calories are the greatest gift every bestowed on humankind (except for maybe the Obama chia pet).

So this year, make Santa proud and eat up!