...Your drink contains caffeine.

*grumble*
*grumble*grumble*
-sip-
Ahhhhhhh.

Good morning, CDCIers! And why is this morning so good, you ask? Because I just had a giant/venti/huge-ass-motherfriggin full fat cream filled sugar loaded CALORIE-FREE mocha. And there is nothing better than waking up to a steaming cup of sugar to get your morning going. The best part? Calorie-free, baby!

It turns out, drinks that contain caffeine do not have calories! The reason that caffeine energizes you so much is because it speeds up the synaptic connections in your brain. Obviously, energy is required to fuel this increase in speed. Where do you think your body gets that energy? From calories, of course! These godlike energy-granting molecules burn all of the calories that come along with them, including the six pumps of vanilla syrup, whipped cream, and caramel topping that you have added to your latte.

So, enjoy a trenta (is that the huge one?) caramel frappuccino! Trust me, I'm a scientist.*

Alternatively, if you want to listen to one of those "traditional" (read: boring) scientists, caffeine also speeds up your metabolism: See?


*I'm not, but I do own a super cute white trench coat.