... You're preparing the main course.

It's nearly impossible to not eat when you're busy slaving away over your dinner, even if that dinner is a microwavable lean cuisine. Luckily, calories consumed while making your real meal fall into two categories, both of which have been scientifically determined to be completely calorie free.

Strategic Calories:

The first type of calorie is the strategic calorie. Preparing a meal takes incredible brain power and strategy. You have to think about a multitude of dizzying food factors.  What flavors go together? Are you overcooking your pasta? How can you boast about what you just made to your roommates and still avoid having to share with them?  You're guaranteed to burn off any of these strategic calories every time you flex your brain power to worry if you've added too much salt to your risotto.

Even throwing a frozen personal pizza into the microwave requires a lot of thought. Should you add hot sauce? Or should you pair it with Parmesan and ranch? What about adding a salad and garlic bread? How can you be expected to answer these tough questions without taste testing your options. You might even need to sample a variety of flavors (Parmesan flavored wheat thins, or Cool Ranch Doritos, for example) in order to be inspired enough to create a true Lean Cuisine culinary masterpiece. Therefore, any calories you consume while strategizing, testing, and getting inspired for your meal don't count. Your brain is working so hard to make a Top Chef worthy meal, it's burning at least as many calories as you're taking in while cooking.

Sustaining Calories:

Sustaining calories are those calories you need to take in in order to handle all of the physical demands of cooking. Ever watched a professional chef prepare a meal? They're usually sweating straight through their fancy chef hats! That's because whisking, stirring, chopping, and opening microwaveable frozen pizza boxes is tough. No wonder you get so hungry while waiting for your dinner to be ready, it's amazing you can even remain standing without eating something that will help keep your strength up. So don't be afraid to chow down while you're cooking, otherwise you might not live to taste your expertly crafted meal.