... It's really hot.

I don't know about where you live, but today, November 2nd, in Southern California, it is 85 degrees. On days like these, most of us find ourselves scarfing down ice cream, blended iced mochas, and gallons of sweetened iced tea in order to stay cool. It's good to know that any foods or drinks consumed in an attempt to regulate our body temperature on these abnormally hot fall/winter days (or hot days of any kind) are all calorie free.

This is because sweating, fanning yourself, and complaining about the heat are all calorie-intensive actions that use up multitudes of calories throughout the day. Plus, calories consumed for healthy purposes (i.e. anything that makes you feel better) are designated "medicinal" calories, and lose all of their fattening effects. These calories only retain their health properties, and are further incapable of adding any extra wobbly bits to your butt. In fact, fainting is a real threat on days like these, making medicinal calories even more necessary in order to stay in tip top shape. Please drive really fast (don't walk) to your nearest Starbucks and order the sugariest iced drink you can find. Or better yet, grab a seat by a window and wait for the ice cream truck to come along. You're gonna need it.