... No plates or silverware are involved.

This guy might look stupid, but he is actually being incredibly smart! No utensils, no calories! (Although the fact that he allowed his food to touch a plate does mean that at least a FEW calories are coming his way.)

Calories are only formed when food touches an eating utensil or a plate. If you are eating directly out of the container, there is no time for calories to solidify. And a bonus - if you are eating with your fingers, the energy exerted by your fingers is actually burning calories!